i practiced handstands. i fell. i did the splits on chain ropes. i did cartwheels. i put one foot in front of the other.

i bet they didn't know
that in the spaces of your jest

there is an ocean of seriousness
looking me in the eyes

unspoken happiness lines my lips
as she quips that one needs wit to keep up with me

--

there were moments in the glacial cold when i would glance briefly at your hands, shaking with starlight (or just freezing, one of the two). i could feel our distance, intentional and silent like the mountains.

---

is the idea grander than this reality?

--

when i look into your eyes, i cannot tell the time. i cannot feel the cold seeping into my 7 layers of clothes. i cannot feel the snow, nor the immense stomachache that consumes me at this altitude. i do not recognize thirst or exhaustion.


--

this is not luck we feel.

I said I've been looking for myself
And now I know where to look

there is so much my heart is learning right now
i can't contain it all
my eyes too polite, my lips too desperate

as we meander through the cobblestone streets and rakesh scolds me any time i am on my phone, i relish the feeling of stepping into this place. corn is sold in baskets, eggs are sold in stacks, and in the bustle of 11pm there are hot bowls of soup and skewers of beef and potatoes for sale. the sun peeks in and out of the clouds, and the mountains cradle the city lovingly as it has since the beginning of time.

i believe in the colors, the woven craft. i believe in smaller cars, in rice and chicken. i believe in the curious eyes and the dogs fighting over meat stuck to bone. the older women carrying babies on their backs and breasts. holding hands to cross the streets. the yelling of agony and extreme enthusiasm during soccer matches. the celebrations of tradition. the children being children, and yes, loving dirt.

i theorize about their stories. and when i am lucky, they tell them to me.

the cold wakes up something inside of me, and yes, this is what it is to be alive.

full of heart, full of green. south america astounds me every time.