deep breath.

- self awareness
- building from the inside out
- reading on the subway
- noticing all the proud futbol-jersey-wearing new yorkers
- that hispanic girl who asked me about what i was looking at on my phone, and she turned out to be from texas, and then she turned out to be from houston but living in north carolina, and she smiled sweetly and told me that yeah it's fucking hard but i'd make it in the city, just give it a chance. her friends giggled and said she should get my number. she led her kids out onto the 34th/herald square stop, prepared to go to the M&M store.
- they weren't lying. it gets really hot here.
- hope against hope, hope against the ropes, hope rising, hope falling, hope exhaling, hope sweating in the humidity, hope blaring in the sirens, hope drilling in the streets
- generosity, here, take my soup
- this. is not a love story.

i love it when a friend is about to prepare a meal for me and IN ADDITION says, "do you want to see what's in my fridge?"

i love the whole process, watching people prepare food with care and love and passion. 

"emergency lemongrass" was the final thing he showed me. you can see it peaking out on the right. he makes a tom yum that apparently will knock my socks off. 

here is today's lunch decadence, reward for not dying while rock climbing. also for not dying while riding on the seat of his road bike while he pedaled all the way home?! even in new york, where you see everything, it was a sight to see. 

beef pho. 

fresh sashimi. 

papaya salad(!).

and a not-ripe-enough peach yet, that was crunchy yet delicious. 

basically, yes. 

From therumblr

This week is for traveling on highways, this week is for driving on back roads, this week is for flying so high above the ground. Keep your eyes on the countryside, keep your eyes on the clouds, keep your eyes on the golden horizon. The world can feel so big this week. The world can feel so dense and rich and strange, and the more you move, the more you can remember who you are. The more you move, the sweeter it is to come home

catalogue:
- walked alone to the Hudson, hungering for the sunset. found live jazz and sat on the lawn marinating in the silhouettes of sailboats against the setting sun.
- meeting Elaine with the brilliant smile, who read to me about numerology and told me that she tells all New Yorkers to "go. leave. find somewhere new."
- biking to Governor's Island, wind and sun and the Statue of Liberty on the horizon
- samba dancing on picnic blankets while eating too much hummus and guacamole (why is this always the case? you can never have just a little bit)
- successfully sneaking wine bottles into places that don't allow them
- homemade hainan ji fan, everyone fanatically and unsuccessfully trying to avoid the chocolate chip walnut cookies i brought, and game of thrones
- late night conversations on trains about India and books we are reading
- walking on Mott street when it is utterly deserted on a Saturday night
- experiencing sunbathing in a public park, for the first time
- rooftop barbecues and homemade sangria at homes of strangers
- nothing is ever spicy enough
- world cup discussions
- dreams, exhaustion, hope- the daily cocktail

we walked to Chinatown and he asked in Chinese about the longyan. she said that they are so sweet and delicious that we would be back for more. and we nearly did walk back for more after eating them facing the East River- fingers sticky and tongues salivating from the sweetness. shortly afterwards, we found a piano in the river.

taking a moment in the middle of the day to read. and then, chasing sunsets in Manhattan.

Read this on ignant today. Powerful. The pressure on women to look, dress, and behave in particular ways in most cultures has not lifted. I admit that I feel the intensity of it here in NYC. 

Beauty Recovery Room:

Photographer Ji Yeo took these images in the Beauty Recovery Room directly after the women had undergone plastic surgery. Ji Yeo aims to raise awareness for the social pressure on Korean women to adjust to a Western ideal of beauty. As the photographer describes, they’re living in a culture where men are judged on their balance sheet and women by their beauty.

She states: “I have been struck by the clear distinction between the women I photographed in Korea and Westerners who seek surgery. Whereas in America, women often focus on altering their bodies (breast enlargements being the most popular), in Korea most women focus on facial adjustments such as: making their eyes bigger and wider, minimizing their cheekbones and jaw lines, and making their noses higher and narrower. Whereas sexiness is highly emphasized in America, in Korea, notions of childlike femininity and innocence reign supreme. It is this difference that compels me; regardless of geography or body type women are willing to spend thousands of dollars and endure extreme cuts, bruises, and scarring in order to achieve beauty.”

The Great Maya Angelou:

"I've been very fortunate… I seem to have a kind of blinkers. I just do not allow too many negatives to soil me. I'm very blessed. I have looked quite strange in most of the places I have lived in my life, the stages, spaces I've moved through. I of course grew up with my grandmother: my grandmother's people and my brother are very very black, very lovely. And my mother's people were very very fair. I was always sort of in between. I was too tall. My voice was too heavy. My attitude was too arrogant – or tenderhearted. So if I had accepted what people told me I looked like as a negative yes, then I would be dead. But I accepted it and I thought, well, aren't I the lucky one...

I've always had the feeling that life loves the liver of it. You must live and life will be good to you, give you experiences. They may not all be that pleasant, but nobody promised you a rose garden. But more than likely if you do dare, what you get are the marvelous returns. Courage is probably the most important of the virtues, because without courage you cannot practice any of the other virtues, you can't say against a murderous society, I oppose your murdering. You got to have courage to do so. I seem to have known that a long time and found great joy in it."