Today.

yoga in a sun drenched room,

then gluttony.

market where they cook the fish you choose (today, branzino) and then you eat it. with a humongous greek salad and terrible-but-awesome buttered bread. And ample squeeze lemon juice. With hearty greek men smiling at you, hoping eagerly that you're enjoying your food.

then, home-ground and brewed coffee. i brought my own almond milk because i'm a coffee wuss (read: i like my sugar with coffee and cream). i also experimented by mixing it with homemade sujeongwa (korean cinnamon hot punch/tea). and we tried different pairings of brooklyn-made (synonymous with self-declared ridiculously artisanal) chocolate.

finally- mate with honey, ginger, and lemon zest. "oh, this is so drinkable!"

and, at the asian supermarket later, "hey, can you make really good mexican food?"
i blanked.
dammit, i guess i know why i need to go back to texas.

the day?
it was all all right, i guess.

Convergence of so many things right now.

i.
Master the art of living:

If you approach each moment, each task, each person, without expectations … and just see that moment or person as they are … then you will really see that moment. Really appreciate it. Experience it like you’ve never experienced anything before, because you haven’t.

and also from Leo:
We can fantasize all we want, but the fantasy never happens. This present reality is all we got. Let’s learn to love it.


ii.
From "Behind the App"- Plex says:

What advice would you give to others that want to take on a similar project?

1. Start from a place of love. This has taken us years and when we started we didn't know if it was going to be a hobby or a business. We are very lucky that it appears to be growing into a solid business. If we didn't love what we were doing, we can assure you it would not have made it to this point.

2. Focus on building a great community around what you are doing. Our users have helped build Plex, no question. Without our community, Plex would be less successful and less fun. Who wants that?

3. Be as hands on in as many things as possible. Our developers all engage regularly with users to resolve issues. Not one of us is above engaging on customer support and satisfaction issues. It is not possible to help everyone all of the time, but pretending that you are above it doesn't get you any closer to the heart of issues and resolving them.

4. Don't be afraid to do things differently. Guess what? There is no perfectly right way to go about building something. We've done a ton of stuff other people thought would be terrible for our project, but ended up being exactly right for Plex.

5. Have fun. Life is short—don't ruin it with a project that isn't a blast.

iii.

“I tell my students, ‘When you get these jobs that you have been so brilliantly trained for, just remember that your real job is that if you are free, you need to free somebody else. If you have some power, then your job is to empower somebody else. This is not just a grab-bag candy game.’”

- Toni Morrison

iv.

“If only I could visit you as a foreigner goes into a new country, learn the language of you, wander past all borders into every private and secret place, I would stay forever. I would become a citizen of you.”

- Lisa Kleypas, A Wallflower Christmas

At midnight I was watching the owner of the store downstairs perform magic card tricks. At 5am there was an orange glow of sunrise licking at the bottom of the sky.

"Those who desire to give up freedom in order to gain security will not have, nor do they deserve, either one.”

Benjamin Franklin 

"For sometimes you can't help but crave some ruin in what you love."

Chang-rae Lee

Blustery summer morning. Chai time.

i am always torn about lingering just a little longer to hear the artists that play at the Lexington-53rd subway station in between the E/M lines. today, an earthy-toned flamenco guitarist.

there is a sense of relief when something is finally coming together, like my new apartment.
R. dropped off artisan chocolate yesterday. it's taking every ounce of my willpower to only eat one square at a time. flavors like crown maple and vanilla smoke- oh brooklyn, only you. but yes please.

things are brewing and bubbling and exciting again.
probably correlates to how much sun i can see outside my window.

it was all cowboy boots and country songs, open skies and neatly endless fields of corn, funnel cakes and frozen custard, and oh-let-me-get-you-some-pie, hunnay. 

who knows if virginia really counts as the south?

it doesn't matter what it counts as. it matters what it "feels" as. 

life moves slower, the gentlemen are gentler, the sunsets are deeper. though my heart has been breaking for months, i found it difficult to remain heartbroken here. just heartsick for the open road. 

Sure enough, after the storm...

the air was pregnant with humidity. and the sky just let loose on the city. i watched this beautiful lightning storm last night on my 7 hour bus ride (if i can do public transport in other countries, why not here?)

i remember thinking with a sinking heart "oh great, it's storming..."
and then immediately after, the sky opened up into a burst of color for sunset. it was mesmerizing, and it haunted me, the realization that this is what happens after storms lift...

It's incredibly easy to get caught up in an activity trap, in the busyness of life, to work harder and harder at climbing the ladder of success only to discover it's leaning against the wrong wall. It is possible to be busy- very busy- without being very effective. 

People often find themselves achieving victories that are empty, successes that have come at the expense of things they suddenly realize were far more valuable to them. People from every walk of life- doctors, academicians, actors, politicians, business professionals, athletes, and plumbers- often struggle to achieve a higher income, more recognition of a certian degree of professional competence, only to find that their drive to achieve their goal blinded them to the things that really mattered most and now are gone. 

- 7 habits of highly effective people

A hundred times have I thought New York is a catastrophe, and fifty times: It is a beautiful catastrophe.

 Le Corbusier

thanks cassie, i needed this:

“I hope you all find yourselves sleeping with someone you love, maybe not all of the time, but a lot of the time. The touch of a foot in the night is sincere. I hope you like your work, I hope there’s mystery and poetry in your life — not even poems, but patterns. I hope you can see them. Often these patterns will wake you up, and you will know that you are alive, again and again.”

— Eileen Myles, “Universal Cycle.” The Importance of Being Iceland.

An old one from Marcus Aurelius: "Never let the future disturb you. You will meet it, if you have to, with the same weapons of reason which today arm you against the present."

in the same night, I swear.

drank scotch out of one, lit fire in another, amongst other things

inside my tent.

Meanwhile, outside: stars and fire.

hand written letter with drawings and everything. and this poem, which saved her, and maybe saves me too:

Everyone who terrifies you is sixty-five percent water.
And everyone you love is made of stardust, and I know sometimes
you cannot even breathe deeply, and
the night sky is no home, and
you have cried yourself to sleep enough times
that you are down to your last two percent, but

nothing is infinite,
not even loss.

You are made of the sea and the stars, and one day
you are going to find yourself again.  

(finn butler)